Editorial: If I Made A Wonder Woman Movie

Wonder Woman was made of clay and from the shores of the Aegean sea. Things are a bit different now. WW was introduced in 1941. She won the right to return Steve Trevor back to “Mans World” In doing so, Wonder Woman decided to help Steve with his mission to fight the Nazi’s.

First of all, this HAS to be a long film. Maybe even 2 hours long. I would totally start the film in the ancient Greek language. Given Wonder Woman’s heightened intelligence and insight, she’d have no problem with learning the English language.

One of the things I disliked about the Adrian Palicki failed TV series was that she was very Americanized. I don’t know how the story was going to play out, but the fact that she was in some sort of PR meeting didn’t settle well with me. You have to show Diana’s social awkwardness towards the modern world. She’s a demigod from ancient Greece, not some chick from New York. Showing Wonder Woman’s struggle to adapt to the modern world has to be featured and dressed with some subtle comedy.

A great example of using Wonder Woman’s social awkwardness is in Justice League #3, check it out:

How ’bout that comic book panel? That’s how Wonder Woman should interact while she is in “Mans World.” There should totally be short scenes where she learns modern catch phrases and colloquialisms, like how Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons) starts an awkward conversation while walking up the stairs with Penny (Kaley Cuoco) using the salutation, “Su-up!”

On top of her social ineptitude, Wonder Woman is a warrior. She has trained day and night to fight wars and to be prepared for anything and to be ready to take any measure necessary to ensure victory or safety of human kind. Wonder Woman has killed. So the line that usually prevents Superman and Batman doesn’t really apply to her, but it’s ones that surround her that keep her level headed.

No Wonder Woman pants. I honestly don’t know what the hell DC was thinking when the announced that new look for Wonder Woman.

I like the Erica Durance style  Wonder Woman outfit (pictured left) Not only is it very becoming, but very warrior like. When thinking of the Amazons, they all should be wearing a uniform in this fashion. The lower braccae gives the Amazons more flexibility for battle. It’s better that lower garment than a upward riding underwear.

I like how Wonder Woman wields a sword in the new 52 books. It’s pretty awesome how she has the sheath strapped to her left leg too! I want to see that on her and all the amazons.

Modern Greek gods would look pretty awesome in suits to me. Enough with the tunics and unitards. Like Man of Steel’s Michael Shannon. He plays General Zod, but instead of having the traditional General Zod uniform, he’s dressed in a all black kriptonyte lined suit. I would definitely put the Greek gods and goddesses in suits and dresses. Keep them classy like socialites.

Two words. Steve Trevor. There would definitely be a fight scene between the he and WW, much like the Keri Russel animated film. There would be a kiss, but with Wonder Woman being the “Han Solo” and initiator. No love/sex scene. We get to see a beautiful woman in a bikini and tight flattering chest armor for an hour and a half, were good.

The Keri Russel animated film focused on the escape of Ares from Themyscira and how he traveled to Tartarus to gain favor with Hades in order to gain control over the world. The DC New 52′s first story of the new Wonder Woman has Zeus gone missing and all the other gods trying to usurp the throne. Meanwhile, WW finds out that she’s the daughter of Zeus and being made of clay was a lie. Learning this, WW feels betrayed and has an identity crises. That gives me a lot to play with. This film should be rated R. Fight scenes should brutal and no holds bar. Themyscira should be full of Amazonian warriors/hunters and gatherers.

Here’s my ideal story:

Long ago, Zeus created the Amazons. He placed them in Scythia in Sarmatia. They were ruled by Penthesilea and Hippolyta. Searching for a land without man, Hera created Themyscira off the shores of Pontus. Themyscira is found in Aegean Sea. Modern day. Themyscira is shrouded by ancient blessings that seals it from the world. The island is full of nature and prosperity. The Amazons live in peace and train day in and day out always ready for war. Amazon’s hunt and torture outside men only using them to reproduce female children. After using the men up, they would wipe their memories and leave them on the shores of Pontus.

A new threat to Themyscira has risen. That threat is the outside world. The Middle East is plagued with war and is slowly reaching towards their paradise. The modern world in war. The Middle East and the western world are pitted in a ugly and terrifying war. Steve Trevor of the USAF is stationed in Afghanistan. The allied forces have pushed the Middle Eastern forces back towards Pakistan. On a scout mission over Yemen, Trevor’s flight team was chased over the Aegean Sea. Hippolyta watches this air battle and see’s Trevor free falling. She decides to release the shroud allowing Trevor to fall towards Themyscira.

Trevor is shot down, crash-lands on the island, sees forest and before you know it, a search party of amazons are there to great him and they don’t look too excited. They attack him, he fights back and runs, he has a one on one with Artemis and bests her. WW goes to chase him and confronts him. They fight and match blow for blow only. Trevor lowers his guard to admire the beauty of WW, Diana being the opportunist knocks him out and brings him to the Themyscira capital. Trevor regains consciousness and is amazed with he’s seeing. Beautiful woman, beautiful island, amazing ancient structures. Hippolyta holds a conference with the first man to set foot on the island and decides that he should return to his homeland.

Meanwhile, the reason for escalating catastrophe in the Middle East is the reemergence of Ares. Ares is fusing the Middle Eastern Governments and armies to fight each other and terrorize one another. Zeus has gone missing and Ares is trying to capitalize. With Zeus gone, Ares goes around to the other gods to try and gain favor only to be met with nonchalance and discontent from his brothers and sisters. Hestia, Demeter, Artemis, Athena, and  Hermes don’t approve of Ares methods. Wanting to stop the warring state in the Middle East, they refuse to fight their brother head on. Instead, they bestow unto WW various powers to help her fight Ares.

While Ares searches for power and favor, he plunges the Middle East(ME) to even worse travesty than Saddam Hussein. On Themyscira, WW competes in Amazonian competitions and earns the honor to return Steve Trevor home and to be ambassador to the outside world. Wonder Woman takes Trevor to America. While there, they go through a series of press events on who she is and where she’s from. The Middle East gets worse. Civil unrest is mounting and an eventual wave of chaos could engulf the western hemisphere. The UN responds quickly and decides to seek aid from Wonder Woman. and send her overseas with the US and UN forces. Ares gains favor with most of the gods and much to Hera’s dismay, he usurps Zeus’ throne as king of Olympus. His power continues to grow as more and more begin to believe in him.

Knowing that the Amazons pose a threat, Ares sends summoned and possessed soldiers to invade and plunder Themyscira. Ares powers are elevated and fueled by the hate and rage of others. All these events culminate to a 3-way epic war and fight scene. Shooting and bombs going off in the background, Allied forces are invading Irag, the Amazons are repelling Ares forces and Wonder Woman faces off with Ares.Wonder Woman’s fight scene with Ares should be epic and bloody. Steven Trevor tries to help, but gets thrown

After WW defeats Ares and subdues his power, Zeus reappears. He justifies his absence as being a test to see how the gods would act had he gone. Zeus tries to embrace WW as a daughter and welcomes her as a god, but she refuses. Battle torn, she leaves with Trevor and begins a life in the modern world as ambassador of Themyscira. Queen Hippolyta releases the shroud and opens her island to the modern world.

With Ares defeated, Zeus binds him with arm bands that cease his power to create war and charges the Amazons with guarding him.

As the scene fades out. You see a secret lab facility with a lot of computer monitors. The monitor in focus is that of Wonder Woman. The other monitors show events in other concentrated cities like Metropolis, Coast City, and Gotham. You can see activity from other heroes like The Flash and Superman and as the you get further from the screens you see an African American woman sitting in her office chair. “Ms. Waller, are you ready?” Cut scene.

Wonder Woman – Emily Deschanel

Did you expect that? Well neither did I. I’ve always been in favor of a Wonder Woman that’s taller than Superman and physically fit. After watching  FOX’s TV series Bones on Netflix, Deschanel’s character on the show fits the psyche of Wonder Woman perfectly. A socially inept well spoken woman who finds herself superior to those around her and is confused when factual remarks are seen as insensitive. She also gets to dish out some cans of wupp ass when she’s acting as Dr. Temperance Brennan.

Honorable mentions:
Gina Carano
Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Steve Trevor – David Boreanaz

Steve Trevor is traditionally blonde, but doesn’t have to be. I haven’t researched much into Bones and the writing/creative team, but the chemistry between Booth (Boreanaz) and Brennan (Deschanel) is very similar to that of Steve Trevor and Wonder Woman. Boreanaz can play the cocky and witty playboy that Trevor is with ease.

Queen Hyppolita – Emily Blunt

In an origin movie for Wonder Woman, Hyppolita shouldn’t be old. She should be a very young mother. Blunt is gorgeous and strikes me as some sort of royalty.

Hermes

Continuing with the Bones cast, T.J. Thyne was a no brainer for my imagination of Hermes.

Bryan Cranston – Ares

I’m tired of the armored Ares. Like the new 52, it’s time for something new. How about Bryan Cranston in a suit? Yes?

Lena Headey – Hera

Hera can be sentimental, but conniving at the same time. If you’ve seen her in both 300 and Game of Thrones, this one totally fits.

George Clooney – Zeus

This is pretty epic in itself.

The Amazons

Casting the Amazons will be one tough feat. You can’t just pile up a bunch of good looking female extras. I think you have to spend time on these women with the same effort you spend looking for the right actress to play Wonder Woman. A few names come to mind though, a woman like Gina Torres would fit this role. Give her some Greek demigod character. Any female warrior from Battle Star Galactica and Stargate Series’. Dot Jones should be casted as an amazon warrior! Although she’s big and buff and may have feelings, she can kick your ass.